I Choose Miracle

Most of the time I used to forget Gabe was considered a special needs baby. Sure, in the aspect of motor skills he's lagging behind but I never gave Gabe much consideration as special needs.

Until now, and I still don't prefer the term 'special needs'. Because everyone is special and each of our needs are differet, so shouldn't we all be considered special needs?

But anyways, until recently I didn't give much thought about Gabe being a 'special needs baby'. But now I can't ignore it, nor should I. In the past few weeks we've left the therapy office with two special pieces of equipment. And while I'm grateful to have these items to help Gabe catch up on his gross motor skills, bringing them home was like a slap in the face.


The first couple of days I felt like the stander or chair were taunting me. Ignorance, whether well-meaning or on accident, is surely not bliss.


You see, I gladly put on Gabe's eye patches to help his eye lid and further develop his sight and wearing his splint and brace didn't seem like a big deal. But having him stand or sit in such medical looking devices broke my heart initially. I would situate him in it and then have to look away or the tears in my eyes would surely hit my cheeks.


Gradually though, I've seen improvements; Gabe is more steady on his feet and even keeps weight on his left leg. His sitting has vastly improved as well and I know that we will soon have an independant sitter on our hands.


And these improvements make my heart happy, even if seeing him in these devices makes me sad. But Gabe loves to sit in his special chair or stand in his stander. He delights in the fact that he's able to sit and reach for things without tumbling over or stand up and have a much more fun perspective on the world around him.


Seeing his excitement and joy in his stander or chair make my heart happy. Because Gabe does not know he's considered 'special needs' and he strives to learn and grow each and every day. Just the fact that he's learning and growing is remarkable. Just a short 11 months or so ago we were unsure if Gabe would live through the birthing process and knew full well he'd be paralyzed on his left side.

Gabe (and God) showed us different. Gabe beat the odds and is to this day a remarkable case of schizencephaly.


All that being said, I still hate the term "special needs" because while I know Gabe is special, we don't want him to feel any different than his buddies Noah and Micah, or his lifegroup friends or his cousins.


So, I'm letting go of the classification of special needs; Gabe's doctors and therapists can define him by anyway they want but not me. I'm choosing to use the word miracle to describe Gabe's prognosis.


Because Gabe just being the happy (and he is the happiest baby ever), sweet little boy that he is, is more than enough for me. Anything else is just icing on the cake!

Gabe in his chair

Gabe in his stander

"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." Psalm 118:8

Passions (Part 1)

Otherwise entitled: Letting God Break My Heart

The past few weeks my soul has felt restless; My prayers have been consumed with asking God to break my heart over the things that break His. God has been pulling at my heartstrings and I'm beginning to truly hear Him.

God has given me many passions. This sweet little boy is one of them:

Being a good steward of our environment is another passion of mine and why you hear me toute the 4 R's often (reduce, reuse, recycle and repurpose!)

And I always knew adopting would be one of my passions. When I was younger and my dad would tell stories from his travels in China, I knew one day I would adopt (I just thought it would be a little Chinese girl named Lily). I just never knew that God would turn that passion for adoption into a passion for orphans; to advocating for children that have nothing and routinely being brought to tears when I try to wrap my mind around the insane number of orphans in the world.

I never knew that my passion for adoption would turn into an intense desire to help orphans in Ethiopia.

And then today I read this: Ararat Day - Talk is Sheep and I feel broken. Broken that there are people out there who's lives are valued by no one and even more broken by the fact that right now, there is nothing I can do but pray.

God gave us passions for a reason now I've just got to see where it takes me.

1 Month to go

I can not, absolutely can NOT believe that Gabe is 11 months old. 11 months ago we fell in love with this sweet smelling, angelic looking miracle of a baby. And 11 months later we are more in love than we could have possible imagined.

Gabriel, in the past 11 months you have taught us more than I ever thought possible. You've taught us to look past the ordinary and marvel in the extraordinary, to not be defined by a medical diagnosis but to look to our great Physician for everything.

Every time you move the left side of your body, we have the privilege of watching a miracle in action. Each physical and occupational therapy appointment you demonstrate perseverance, strength and a never say never type of determination that could propel the Browns to be Super Bowl champions.

You, Gaby Baby are one of life's greatest marvels and one of God's biggest miracles. 11 months ago you entered our lives - you changed us, taught us to live for each day and love a little deeper... and we will never be the same.

Happy 11 Months Gabe!

Hands and Feet

Thank you so much to everyone that has bought a t-shirt or coffee from one of our fundraisers. While our Just Love Coffee shop will be opened indefinately, the t-shirt fundraiser will be over at the end of July if you're interested.

Without your love and support we would not be as confident in the place we are on this journey God sent before us. Without you, we could not be His hands and feet. It may sound cliche, but it is the truth.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you...