Pain Killers & Veggie Soup

This video showed up on Facebook a few days ago and while Gabe was in PT this morning I finally had the chance to watch it.  I realize it's just a commercial.  I'm not entirely sure what they're advertising for because I don't speak Siamese (language in Thailand) but I know what they're promoting.

Kindness.

Yes, it is a commercial but just try not to shed a tear when you watch this.  

Encouragement.

"Therefore do not lose heart but take these truths and day by day focus on them.  preach them to yourself every morning.  Get alone with God and preach his word into your mind until your heart sings with confidence that you are new and cared for." 

- John Piper

In the past couple of weeks, four friends have posted this video. The first time I listened to the song but then became distracted and never listened to what John Piper had to share. 

This last time I watched the whole video and listened to John Piper.

If you are going through something hard, 

listen to John Piper. 

My heart hurts when I think of all of my friends that are going through the hard stuff right now. 

 Gut wrenching, heart stretching, faith testing stuff.

Let yourself be encouraged by him.  

Listen to John Piper and know your pain, your trials are not in vain. 

 

Though tonight I'm crying out

let this cup pass from me now

You're still all that I need

You're enough for me.

Bigger than Godzilla

"I know whatever's going to happen that God can handle it"

Gabe loves Veggietales.  

Especially Junior Asparagus.

God is Bigger than the Boogeyman is his favorite song.

Matt and I have to sing it every night when we tuck him into bed.

Every. Single. Night.

And sometimes God uses a children's song to speak directly to my heart.

I don't believe in the boogeyman.

But my pain.

My anger.

My confusion.

God can handle it. 

One day Gabe won't be so camera shy and I'll have to share our sweet boy singing about God being bigger than Godzilla.

Fear Not

Lately a spirit of fear has been creeping into my heart.  Sometimes during the day but usually at night.  Late at night while I should be sleeping, thoughts about the future, the unknowns this winding world of adoption brings to us, began to create in me a spirit of fear. 

Late one night as I was praying for another adoptive mama and the situation with her son who is a world away, I began to feel fearful for them as well.  As I was dwelling on that fear and getting further and further from any remnants of a good nights rest, I slipped out of bed and went downstairs to get my bible.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.

Do you know how many verses are in the Bible that speak directly on fear; or better yet on not being fearful?  At least 50.

Some of my favorites:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 

2 Timothy 1:7

 

This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

 

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Isaiah 41:13

 

Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you.

Deuteronomy 3:22

 

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Zephaniah 3:17

 

The Psalms obviously spoke to me [Smile].

 

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears

Psalm 34:4

 

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them

Psalm 34:17

 

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you

Psalm 56:3

 

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.

Psalm 91:4-8

 

They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.

Psalm 112:7

 

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Psalm 118:6

 

And then there's the lyrics to You Never Let God from Matt Redman.  We sing it occasionally at church, I think we sang at Created for Care and I've come to singing on verse in particular in my head through out the day

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

 

Here's the whole song:

 



 

God did not create a spirit of fear in me and every so often I'm finding myself in the notes section of my phone rereading these verses and reminding myself of just that.  

Kings and Queens

I used to love Audio Adrenaline when I was younger; they even played at Winterfest one year and my friends and I were so excited.

I hadn't heard anything new from them in a while when I pulled into the driveway one day and saw their name pop-up on the display of our radio.  Gabe and I sat in the car while I listened to their new (to me, at least) song. 

"And of course, tears pricked my eyes.  Especially at these words:

Little hands, shoeless feet, lonely eyes looking back at me

Will we leave behind the innocent too brief

On their own, on the run when their lives have only begun

These could be our daughters and our sons

And just like a drum I can hear their hearts beating

I know my God won’t let them be defeated

Every child has a dream to belong and be loved"

 

 

Watch it if you dare.  Have a tissue at hand. 

I love this song.  I am excited that God is using another musician to spread his mandate to love the orphan.

I'm also super excited that this evening I'll be meeting up with some of the most amazing women who are being his hands and feet and loving the 'least' of these.

Created for Care here I come!

Orphan Sunday 2012

17 years ago President Clinton designated November as National Adoption/Orphan Awareness month. 
  
Nine years ago the Christian Alliance for Orphans joined with Every Orphan's Hope to create Orphan Sunday.  Today, November 4, marks orphan Sunday.

This year's Orphan Sunday video being shown in churches, community centers and homes all over the world today:

Did you watch it?  Did it make you want to do something to help the orphan, to ensure each and every child knows they are loved by a mom and dad, a family, God?

Not sure yet?  I understand it's easy to look past the orphan crisis when it doesn't affect you personally.  It's easy to skim over verses in the Bible that don't apply to you.  I do it, we all do it.  But it doesn't make it okay. 

Four years ago I was made aware of Orphan Sunday.  I knew the world had a lot of orphans, Matt and I were at the end of our home study phase of the foster-adopt program and growing up I always knew I wanted to adopt.  But I didn't realize the severity of the problem.  I grew up with a mom and dad and never once had to wonder if they loved me, if they would provide for me.  An estimated 163 million orphans worldwide do not have that luxury.

After Gabriel came home, Matt and I continued to feel God's leading to adopt again, internationally this time.  We chose an agency, applied and began the process to bring home the little one we're currently waiting for.

Up late one night I found this video by Eric Lundy:



Watching this video, even now, evokes so many strong emotions.  I believe the Depraved Indifference video needs to be shown at every Orphan Sunday, in homes where our children are cared for and loved, at Life Groups and Bible studies....

Have you watched it?  Still not sure that God wants you to care for the fatherless? 

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.  -Psalm 68:5

He executed justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner giving to him food and clothing  -Deuteronomy 10:18

Asher shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses; neither will we say any more to work of our hands,  Ye are our gods; for in the the fatherless find mercy.  -Hosea 14:3

But do you see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless.  -Psalm 10:14

To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that the man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.  -Psalm 10:18

Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan.  -Exodus 22:22

And my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and you wives shall become widows and your children fatherless   -Exodus 22:24

Woe to those who decree iniquitous decrees,
and the writers who keep writing oppression,
to turn aside the needy from justice
and to rob the poor of my people of their right,
that the widows may be their spoil,
and that they make the fatherless their prey.   -Isaiah 10:14

 So I will come near to you for judgment. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive aliens of justice, but do not fear me," says the Lord Almighty.  -Malachi 3:5

We have become orphans, fatherless; our mothers are like widows.   -Lamentations 5:3

Cursed by anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, that fatherless and the widow.  And all the people shall say Amen.  -Deuteronomy 27:19 

Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves.  Everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts.  They do not bring justice to the fatherless, and the widows cause does not come to them.  -Isiah 1:23

They kill the widow and the sojourner, and murder the fatherless.  -Psalm 94:6

This is what the Lord says: Do what is just and right.  Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed.  Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed blood in his place.   -Jeremiah 22:3 

because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him.  -Job 29:12

 

Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other.  -Zechariah 7:10

 

Leave your orphans; I will protect their lives. Your widows too can trust in me.  -Jeremiah 49:11

 

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.   -Psalm 82:13

 

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.  -Isaiah 1:17

 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.   -James 1:27

 

20 verses regarding the orphans in the Bible and there are plenty more! 

 

So two videos, 20 scripture verses.... what's my point? 

 

My point is simple.

 

God commands us to care for the orphans.  And by caring for the orphans, I don't mean adoption.  While adoption is a wonderful way to live out God's redemptive love for us, not everyone is called to adopt.  And adoption is not the answer for the orphan crisis (more on that, later)

 

We are the answer. 

How that looks is different for everyone but there is something for everyone to do.  Foster children, join an orphan ministry, shop fair trade products that benefit orphans, volunteer at your local pregnancy crisis center or with a big brother/ big sister program, join Feed the Children and help provide food for hungry children or donate to Water Missions International and help provide clean water to 3rd world countries.   There are so many options, we all just need to join together and do something. 

One of my favorite Bible verses is Micah 6:8.  It may not specifically mention caring for the orphans but for me, this verse couldn't be any more clear. 

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Surely Alive

As Gabe's speech continues to grow, so do his singing skills.  There is nothing lovelier than hearing his sweet voice come from the other room or the back seat singing praise music.  I'll admit, I love hearing him sing along to Creedance Coolwater Revival but not nearly as much as when he's singing along to Matt Redman, Casting Crowns or Passion.  I pray that the words he's singing now are being embedded into his soul, working their way into his spirit and will always find a home in his heart. 

One of our favorite songs to sing-along with in the car is God's Not Dead by the Newsboys.



Our favorite verse "my God's not dead, He's surely alive.  He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion." 

Lord, bless his heart, hearing Gabe sing that line while dancing along in his car seat is like a balm to my soul.  Because no matter what is happening here and now; no matter what the media and politicians tell you - God is alive and working here on earth.  I know it, Gabe knows it and I'm pretty sure Gabe is going to let everyone know it one day!

And just so you know, Gabe's sweetness multiplies by a hundred when he roars like a lion after that verse.

1 Year Waiting Thought You'd Be Here

Thursday marked 1 year on the wait list.  Last year we celebrated with blizzards from Dairy Queen.  This year I vacillated from being so happy that we made it this far to being so discouraged that we are still so far away from a referral. 

It's easy to blithely say that you trust in the sovereignty of God's timing to actually be in a circumstance that you have to live it.  And I do.  I do trust in God's timing in building our family and while we wonder what the face of our little one looks like, God already knows his (or her) name, birth date and eye color.  

But it's hard.  Oh so hard.  Especially when you think about the numbers.  And Thursday I got caught up in the numbers.  I did the math and figured out that we 'should be waiting 15.8 more months for a son and 17.8 months for a daughter.  A sibling... well that's just a big crazy confusing mess to try to figure out!  I went back and forth from thinking about the numbers and waiting game to standing firm in the knowledge that God is bigger than a number on a wait list. 

Later, a friend sent me an email with Psalm 46:10 included telling me to "Be still and know that I am God."  For the rest of the afternoon I must have repeated that verse 100 times and gradually my mind wandered away from the numbers and back into the solace of knowing that as sure as God knit our child in his birth mothers womb, he surely knows when we will meet.

Earlier this week another friend sent me this song by Wes King.  While not all of the lyrics reflect our situation; waiting for your child is just plain hard. 

But if you like dancing

I'll make it rain rhythm, and rhyme, and melodies, child

And if you like dreaming

Your mother will make your imagination run wild

Somehow, we thought you'd be here by now

We have a room just for you upstairs Its right down the hall

So we'll be close should you ever get scared

We'll come when you call

It's a room full of stories

Waiting to be told

Longing to behold

And if you like laughing

I'll paint you a circus of smiles and ferris wheels, dear

And if you like living

Your mother will fly you to worlds both far and near

Somehow..

I never knew the silence could make me so deaf

I never knew that I could miss someone I've never met
Miss someone I haven't met
We'll be waiting

It really is possible to miss and love someone you've never met.  It's painful and hard, but glorious and beautiful all at the same time. 

8 months waiting

Sunday marked 8 months waiting for a referral of our little one.  The wait is hard, yet necessary.

Biblically, waiting is not just something

we have to do until we get what we want.

Waiting is part of the process of becoming

what God wants us to be.

 - John Ortberg

Dance Your Shoes Off

An Easter flash mob just for you!



And yes, prior to moving to Houston and looking for a church I checked out Second Baptist Church. Unfortunately they did not have a flash mob sign-up so we kept looking [smile].

Did you know?

That one of my 'bucket list' aspirations is to be in a flash mob. Since I lack the gene that allows your body to find rhythm and I'm also not very vocally inclined, the chances of me being included in a flash mob are slim to none.

But a Christmas flash mob... oh that would be just a dream come true. Combining my love of Christmas with a flash mob, I'd surely pass out in anticipation! One can only hope to be so lucky to take part in such a fest!

Now for your viewing pleasure... because there's no way I could just pick one!

This one just makes me smile...



I especially like the meaning behind this one:


This one is definitely not my favorite but I love that a church got together to do this one! Jessie.. if you read this, next year at Christmas... you and me, we're going to do this in Ohio!



I'm thinking next Christmas, Target parking lot.... because who the heck's heard of schnucks?



Hope these brought a little smile to your face!

Christmas Offerings

Three years ago (or so) I picked up the CD Christmas Offerings from Third Day at the local christian bookstore. Little did I know that in just a few short days, my hopes in this world would succumb and I would cling to track 13 like a man lost in the desert thirsts for water.



Little did I know that God was already knitting Gabriel together in his birth mothers womb. What I did know was that God had a plan for me that was good (Jeremiah 29:11) but I was anxious for it. I so longed to wrap my arms around a baby that was mine. And I had to keep faith that he or she was out there somewhere.

So I listened to the song Merry Christmas continually. Honestly, I'm surprised that the track still plays [smile]. Because this year, I listen to this song as long as Gabe will relinquish his rights to veggie tales in the car.

Because now, 3 years later, we're waiting again. Waiting for a child, that because of this broken world needs to find his family with us. Whether it be violence, poverty or sickness; our little one will find his way half-way around the world to know the love of a family, the strength of a father, the gentleness of a mother and the fun of a big brother.

And just like that desperate Christmas of 2008, I'm finding hope in this song. . Hope in the lyrics that one Christmas our little one will be home. Because in God's time, our little one will come home. Whether he's entered this world or not, we're waiting for him... praying for him... and loving him already.

Realistically next Christmas we'll still be a family of 3 but I'm hoping and praying that God's timing, as perfect as it always is and always will be, is sooner than later.

Give This Christmas Away

I love Christmas music, like absolutely love it. Christmas music usually starts November first and then it is the only music I listen to until after December 25.

And that was my tradition since as long as I've been able to drive. Until this year. You have to understand, 99.9% of the time I'm driving, I'm driving with Gabe in the car. And that means we're listening to Veggie Tales. I realize that I'm the mom and could easily put on whatever I want to listen too but hearing Gabe ask "Larry, please" is just too hard to deny. Especially since he's 2 and learning about boundaries and control... and let's be honest, he doesn't have a lot of control of his life right now. So I let him listen to Veggie Tales and to be completely honest, it brings a smile to my face listening to Veggie Tales and watching Gabe bob his head along in the rear view mirror.

But I am grateful for Veggie Tales The Little Drummer Boy Soundtrack. Gabe still hears Bob, Larry and Junior and I'm able to hear some Christmas tunes.

Fortunately, there are some really good, non-veggie-tale-voiced songs as well. One of the songs that I adore is Give This Christmas Away by Matthew West and sung with Amy Grant. I like that, although Gabe may not understand it this year, giving Christmas away is what we want Gabe to learn about Christmas; that it's about giving and that true joy comes not from receiving gifts but giving love.

My favorite verses are: It's feeding the hungry, serving the poor, it's telling the orphan you're not forgotten anymore. It's doing what loved does even when no ones watching" and "For God so loved the world, that He gave us all His son so we could be his hands, his feet, his love."

Those verses just speak to me. I love the reference to Matthew 6:3 in the first verse (But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing) and it's obvious why I love the first verse. Serving at the salvation army is one of my favorite activities to do and well, you all know how I feel about orphans.

I truly love this song; and even more importantly, I pray the words of this song are working their way into Gabriel's sweet, little heart and that as he grows he'll be as generous with his love as he is now with giving out cuddles and kisses.

And in case you were wondering, Give This Christmas Away is in the movie Saint Nicholas: A Story of Joyful Giving.

Already? Only?

alternately titled:

knocking down doors

Today, Matt and I celebrate 5 years of marriage. Part of me can't believe it's already been 5 years. Clearly, it seems like it was just yesterday that Matt yelled up "I'm here" to the bridal suite where I was getting ready. While my friends may have chuckled, Matt knew that I needed to know he was there. Not that I thought he wasn't going to get cold feet, just that maybe his friends wouldn't let him come [smile - kind of].

Five years ago I said "I do" vowing to spend the rest of my life with my best friend, only love and other half to my whole. And I haven't looked back since.

But when you're young, 5 years seems like a long time. And while the time intervals haven't changed, time truly does seem to go by much faster. I can't believe it's been 5 years since we said I do, flew to Punta Cana and prepared our house in Parma Heights for our life together.

In five years life changes so much. We have been through so much together already that part of me can't help but wonder how it's only been five years. Shortly, we'll be moving to our third house 1100 miles away from where we call home. We've been through job changes and fertility struggles . We've suffered the loss of a beloved father and grandfathers. We connected even more through finding a deeper faith in Christ. Together we added Gabriel into our family through adoption and are working to add another child.

Matt and I have been through a lot in the first 5 years of our marriage, but the biggest defining factor of it all is that we've been through it together. Love and marriage are a choice, and everyday we choose love.

And I can be perfectly honest, there's no one I'd rather go through life with. Matt is the laidback-ness to my obsessive compulsiveness. The relaxation to my uptightness. The laughter to my seriousness. Matt is my perfect compliment and while I don't believe in the whole "there's only one person for everyone" theory, I consider myself incredibly blessed that God brought our paths together.

For there is only one person that I'd go knocking down doors with in Texas....



Thank you Andrew Peterson for writing this song for us, the only thing you messed up on was our ages [smile]!

Blessings

Today I needed a little reminder, and thought maybe someone else may too

This Baby

I had all intentions on sharing our fabulous Saturday afternoon spent at Kris Kringle's Inventionasium but you'll have to wait another day to see a cloth diapered Gabe traipsing around Tower City. I know, I know, if he can't walk, he can't traipse but you get the picture [smile].

As evidence to my play list I obviously like the song Mary, Did You Know but today I heard a different song, one I'm sure I've heard before and either never paid attention to or changed the station on, but today I heard it and actually listened to it.

This Baby by Steven Curtis Chapman (and you know I love me some SCC - any adopting family does!) really made me think about Jesus as a baby and a young child. And how it would feel to be raising and watching the son of God grow up.

Did Jesus cry when He was tired, or was He so full of God's peace that He would just drift off to sleep? Jesus was the only sinless person to ever walk this earth, does that mean he was never disobedient? And how would it be to parent a perfect child? If you never have to redirect or guide them, did Mary and Joseph feel like they were doing their job well?

I smiled when I thought of a baby Jesus looking like a sweet, little juicy cherub like Gabriel. But I wonder if Jesus ever shot his Mama a mischievous look when he did something He knew He wasn't supposed too. But then, since He was a sinless man, He probably had no reason to be mischievous.

Gabe's found his mischievous look and it's generally when he's doing something disobedient like trying to move the floor lamp or play with the television cabinet doors. And when he does this, Matt and I use this opportunity to teach him; that what he's doing isn't safe or appropriate. These opportunities allow me to feel like I'm parenting Gabe, teaching him. Did Joseph and Mary ever have these opportunities?

Even when Jesus stayed at the Temple and didn't start towards home with his parents, He was unrepentant when they found Him because He knew where He was supposed to be.

Oh, how I love thinking of Jesus as a baby, small boy or teenager.


Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom :)

World Aids Day

I know you know (because I've told you) that there are approximately 147 million orphans in the world but did you know that 16 million of the orphans became an orphan because of AIDS? Out of the 16 million do you know approximately 14.8 million are in Africa? Did you know that 5500 people die daily because of AIDS?

While there's no cure for AIDS, there is so much we can do in prevention and education to stop the epidemic. And while there are many things we can do; most of the times apathy takes course and we do nothin.

I've asked the Lord to break my heart for the things that break His. And He continues to work on my heart as he does this.... and things like orphans, AIDS, people living without access to clean water or food continue to break my heart. But what hurts just as much is the complete and utter indifference of the rich and wealthy, the indifference of those living in the best country of the world who have so much to offer but are unwilling to give.

Pause the music at the bottom and take the time to watch Depraved Indifference. Does it describe you? Are you of the mindset that if it deosn't affect you then there's no need to think about it?

Hands and Feet

Thank you so much to everyone that has bought a t-shirt or coffee from one of our fundraisers. While our Just Love Coffee shop will be opened indefinately, the t-shirt fundraiser will be over at the end of July if you're interested.

Without your love and support we would not be as confident in the place we are on this journey God sent before us. Without you, we could not be His hands and feet. It may sound cliche, but it is the truth.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you...

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day to my 3 Favorite Fathers; Gabe's Daddy, My Dad and our Abba Father

Gabe's Daddy: When people think of couples longing for a child they always think of the mother; but like me last mother's day, last father's day Matt was just a man wishing he could be a father. Quicker than we could have ever imagined Matt became a daddy. And what a daddy he is; he positively dotes on Gabe and the smiles on their faces when they see each other only remotely display the bond they have. Most people think Gabe is a Mama's boy right now, what they don't see is how Gabe acts when Matt comes home from work! He is beside himself with glee that Daddy is home to play and immediately, no matter what type of day Matt had, Gabe is in his arms. Matt is the absolute best father God could have given Gabe. Matt loves Gabe and expects great things from him. He treats him like he's a normal little boy and that is exactly what Gabe needs; a daddy who is fun, adventurous and always makes him smile. And that's the kind of daddy God gave him.

Matt works hard to give Gabe everything that he needs; he works 40+ hours a week and goes to school anywhere from 2 - 4 nights a week (depending on the semester) all to give Gabe (and whatever future children we have) a better life. But Matt knows life isn't about what you have but about your faith in God. And through the years Matt grows deeper in his faith - he is the perfect man to raise a godly son. In case we don't tell you enough Matt/Daddy, we love you and appreciate everything you do for us and give up for us!

My Dad: Daddy's girl or not, I'm pretty sure since birth I've had my dad wrapped at least loosely around my finger :) After 2 sons my Dad was more than ready for my girliness but maybe a little less ready for emotions... but everything he took in stride; loving me, providing for me and always doing what was best for me. I am so grateful for everything he has done for me; from ballet recitals to picking up batons at parades to late night pick-ups to walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. My dad has always been there for me and I know he always will. How do I know? For one, because he loves me so he has too and for another, because he shows me how much he loves me. Working long hours on vacation days to get my lawn in order is not only a great help to me and Matt but also shows me how much he loves me! Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you!

And my Abba Father who loves me more than I'll ever deserve with a grace I'll never earn. No matter what I've done, where I've gone, He takes me back. He still calls me daughter.

Happy Father's Day to all the Father's out there and to all those waiting to be a father... my prayers for you are that your heart and arms are full soon.

XOXO

Why wait?

I was on YouTube a little bit ago looking for something a friend recommended; she said it would make me laugh but I found this video instead: All I Really Want for Christmas by Steven Curtis Chapman. And I thought, oh I'll save this and post it at Christmas... and then deep in my heart I felt God say "why wait" And while I am one of the first people you will ever meet to start playing Christmas music, generally before Halloween :) I thought, nah, it's way too early for Christmas music.

But this isn't just Christmas music; it's a song that resonates deep in my soul and brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. Imagine growing up being one of many, never having anyone wipe your tears, bandage your knees or tell you they love you. I can't even fathom that and it breaks my heart that over 147 million children go to bed without knowing a mother's gentle touch or a father's guiding hand.

I'm not sure why God instilled in me such a passion for adoption and orphans. I feel like I need to be doing something bigger than just trying to bring a family home for myself (yes, adopting for me is also a selfish reason because I long for a home filled with love, laughter and a little chaos) but God hasn't shown me what that is yet. So for now, until I know what my 'mission' in life is besides being a wife to Matt and Mama to Gabe, I will just share my passions with this little platform God has given me through my blog. And maybe one day, I'll know what to do with my passions... what to do when I grow up!

So, I ask you, why wait?