A Trip to Australia

Adoption and infertility tend to take unique paths - different for everyone, but eventually lead you to the same place. Adoption.com provides us with the following analogy:

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place. You've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you: You'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait - and wait - and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax, you'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!"

After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By boat!" you say, "going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money, I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It's a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible: traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you got there, but in the place itself.

My 'trip to Australia' has led me to see the beauty in the good as well as the bad; to be thankful for sweet baby sounds as well as dirty diapers, to relish in all the smiles as well as the sleepless nights.

NIAW

Today we are mid-way through National Infertility Awareness Week. What? You didn't know that it was National Infertility Awareness week? It's sad to say, I'm not surprised. Although 1 out of every 6 couples will need some sort of medical intervention to concieve, talking about infertility is some sort of social indecorum.

Before I had to ever think of infertility, I can admit I was one of those people who just didn't understand how people couldn't get pregnant. I mean it seemed pretty easy to me; you have sex and get pregnant, what was too that. And I would have never thought that infertility would be part of my life; I had a plan. I would get meet Mr. Right, get married, have a baby and live my own little happily-ever-after.

But God had other plans.... I did meet Mr. Right and get married but the 'plan' stalled out there. To avoid sharing too much information, we'll just say God had other, and for us, better plans for us and our family. Plans that were better than I could have ever imagined.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11 became sort of a mantra for me; I'd repeat it daily, hourly and sometimes more often than that to get through the discouraging moments. And while Matt and I were not completely sure of God's plan and only knew it were to include adoption and not fertility treatments. Thus the choice of adoption precludes us from being a success story in the infertility world but how could I ever look at this face

or see my two favorite guys being silly

or hold a miraculous wonder next to an otter

and not think that this is success... a miracle just like any other way of bringing a baby into a family.

But infertility is a funny thing; it's certainly not talked about among mixed company. And I'm not talking about different genders or races; I'm talking about everyone. Until you hear of someone going through what you're going through or have been through... you're not sure if it's okay to talk about. But I think we need to change that! If approximately 17% of people in America our dealing with some sort of fertility problems, inevitably it's someone you know. For me; it's one of my dearest friends, girls I go to church with, friends from high school and college and strangers I've met through the bloggy world. And we're in this together - whether you just keep trying the natural way (insert smile here!), opt for medical intervention or choose adoption - infertility is there. It's a journey, not a destination (cliche I know) but as Paul McCartney and his buddes the Beatles say we "get by with a little help from my friends" and a whole lot of faith in God.

Entering the world of infertility was not done at will, but by God's will. Leaving infertility behind and embracing the world of adoption and my sweet baby Gabe was only by God's grace. 3 years ago I never would have thought that I'd be thankful for infertility but when I look at the baby sleeping in my lap, reflect on the way my faith has grown or think of all the relationships developed, strengthened or both it is hard to be anything but thankful.

This song and video (especially the dedication) by John Waller also provided me so much comfort while we were waiting. And tonight I watched it again, with Gabe in my arms and cried so grateful for God's faithfulness and for those still waiting...

Oops!

Oh my! How dare I post about Gabe and not include a picture of our sweet little miracle. I'll try not to do that ever again! He,he :)

Taking a nap.. not in his crib of course but in his Daddy's chair!

Has your doctor ever....

asked if a lot of people were praying for your baby? (but, wow there could be some really funny 'has your doctor ever' guesses out there)

Because Dr. R asked me that on Tuesday and I was able to respond with a "oh yeah, lots."

Why did he ask that, you may wonder. He asked because Gabe's eye was perfect; Gabe's right eye is completely centered and healed wonderfully! Dr. R. actually said he had chills from seeing how good Gabe's eye look!

Gabe's eye surgery, since his problem stemmed from his 3rd cranial nerve and is not the common 'lazy eye' problem Dr. R fixes routinely, he was a little nervous about how it would turn out. Nervousness was obviously not needed as Gabe's eye looks great!!!!!

The only 'bad' thing about his eye surgery is that correcting the eye did not have the result of correcting his eye lid that we were hoping for. So, another surgery to lift his eye lid will probably be on the calander after his appointment in 2 months, but we'll deal with that when we come to it.

Speaking of the calender; the 2 months we have away from the eye doctor is the LONGEST amount of time Gabe has ever had between eye doctor appointments! Starting at the opthomalogist at 15 days old and then going every 4 - 6 weeks, 2 months is going to be great!!

God Bless!

And please don't forget to keep praying for Chrissie and all of the Patterson's.