Waiting

Instead of recapping our latest meeting with our attorney I'd rather share a poem that after an evening of questioning and wondering why, I stumbled upon once more. It was emailed to me a year ago when it was evident to me that the family that "I" wanted was not the one that was planned for me. I suppose this poem was the answer I needed to have today... it's just so hard to wait....

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, lovingly I cried
Quietly, patiently, lovingly He replied
I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate
And the Master so gently said “Child, you must wait.”

“Wait? You say wait?” my indignant reply
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why
.Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

My future, and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me ‘wait’?
I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

“And Lord, you have promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking: I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So I slumped in my chair; defeated and taut
And grumbled to God; “So, I’m waiting, for what?”

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, darken the sun,
Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

All you see I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust, just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence was all you could see.

You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of my comfort late in the night;
The faith that I give when you walk without sight;
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

And you would never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for that loved one o’ernight could come true,
But the loss! If you lost what I’m doing in you.

So be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of these gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all... is still... wait.

Love and Blessings to you all, Meredith

The Beginning

Welcome to our blog! First and formost we're going to use this as a means of keeping our family and friends updated on our adoption journey. Secondly, this blog is public, so if a birthmother were to be browsing online for a family for her child, she would be able to find us. And lastly, this will be used as a journal for Matt and me; a way to share our thoughts and feelings and in time, look back and see how far we've come.

A little about our story. Matt and I fell in love quickly and married young. We share strong values of family, faith and God. We both have always wanted a large family and were anxious to start our family. Our time however, was not God's time and we're still just a family of 2. After weighing many options and lots of conversation and prayer; the road to adoption was opened for us.
After fully investing ourselves into public adoptions and then experiencing the letdown when it became apparent that it wasn't what we thought it would be, we re-evaluated, prayed incessantly and decided a private adoption was the path we were meant to follow. After our intial meeting with our lawyer; deep in our hearts we both knew that this was the journey that would lead us to our family.
And now our adventure continues, tomorrow marks the second meeting with our attorney and brings us one step closer to home...



Ending with a scripture: In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. ~ Ephesians 1: 4b - 6

Meredith