Quick Questions

Okay, I have a couple of quick questions....



1.) We're planning on using cloth diapers (not the traditional ones, the cute ones with snaps no pins) and I can't figure out which ones to choose? Any suggestions? There are a couple of brands that seem "perfect" but I'd love to hear from someone who has used cloth diapers. No cloth diaper users here? If you know anyone that can give suggestions, I would totally appreciate it!



2.) What were the can't-live-without items you needed for the first few days you were home? I know we can't get everything we'll eventually need right now, but I know there are some things we won't be able to live with out.. I'm just not sure what those are!



3.) For strollers/car seats: travel system or buy them seperately?? Favorite brands... the top safety picks are SO expensive and I just wonder how much better they actually are!



Love & Blessings, Meredith

3 Weeks, 1 day

I'm still in a state of disbelief that in about 3 weeks we're going to be parents! It's unbelievable, too good to be true but then again, we do serve an awesome God and there is only one way to describe this - AWESOME!

I'm not sure where to start... maybe, the beginning would work best.

Yesterday Matt (or Aaron as he's known to MCB and our adoption world) and I had a birth mother interview scheduled for 2:00. We didn't tell many people (sorry Mom) for a few reasons: 1.) it was so difficult going back to everyone that we'd told about our previous birth mother meeting that we weren't chosen and going through all the details over and over and over again and 2.) we (or I) was just so nervous that I tried not to think about it and if we told people, then I'd have to think about it more. I'm sure I would have been less nervous going in if I would have told people and knew that lots of people out there were praying for us and thinking about us as we met but, I didn't think about that at the time.

So our meeting was with our birth mother, we'll call her Miss B from here on out, her mother and the birth father. Miss B is the birth mother from this post here and well, if I'm honest, she's just a delightful young woman with more courage than I could possibly imagine. For many reasons Miss B and the birth father, Mr. C, are not able to be parents at this time. They had chosen an agency, only to be later told that their agency didn't deal with "special needs babies." I can't imagine the stress that would cause - to make such a selfless decision and then be turned away. Eventually Miss B's Mom found MCB and she looked through lifebooks, MCB spoke with her clients and Matt and I were blessed to be asked to meet with her.

After an intial phone conference with our lawyer and trying to get a hold of doctors and then finally talking to them, we finally met Miss B! To describe the meeting in one word would be unbelievable. We hit it off right away, if you were listening outside the door you would've thought it was a conversation between friends not a meeting between a birth mother and potential parents. There was serious conversation, light conversation, laughter and even a few tears. But through all of it, we were comfortable. That alone speaks volumes. And I think that was the ticket... we were comfortable, they were comfortable. Our Christian, "go green" values meshed with theirs.

After ending our meetings, Matt and I went to a seperate office to "discuss it" but the second we were alone we exchanged a look and I told MCB "we're in," she went back to Miss B, Mr. C and Miss B's mom and then came and got us... and standing all together Miss B told us she would love for us to be the parents of her baby. Yes, tears were in our eyes, and tears are in my eyes now - it's not every day your dreams come true! After a round of hugs and thank yous, we all went our seperate ways.

It's not over, we know Miss B has 72 hours to change her mind after the baby is born. We firmly believe that she won't change her mind but if she does, just like everything else on this journey, we'll cling close to each other and God and know He will carry us through.

Next week we'll meet to set up our schedule as in who will call who, who can come to the hospital, and all those other details... and until then we'll get ready. We'll finish the nursery, get car seats, burp cloths, cloth diapers and all those fun little must-have baby items...narrow down our name selection :)

More often than not, I come here and ask for prayers and today is not any different. In the coming weeks will you please pray for Miss B and our baby. Please pray for a safe delivery for Miss B and peace in her heart with this decison. No doubt this will be an immensely difficult time for her, would you please pray for her to feel God's comfort. Please pray for the health of our baby; there are some complications but we are praying for a miracle. God is a God of miracles and while we trust the doctors diagnosis, our God is BIGGER than a diagnosis. Please pray for Matt and I; that we remain calm and don't get too anxious, that we become closer to eachother and God as we prepare our lives and hearts for this very special little one.

More posts to come on our baby, his diagnosis and our miraculous God.

Love & Blessings, Meredith

Overwhelming Gratitude

Overwhelming gratitude... that's the only way I can describe how I feel right now... and I'll explain all of the ins and outs about why I feel that way in a much more detailed post tomorrow... for now, I'll just say, on or around AUGUST 19 I'll be a Momma!!!! And of course, Matt will be a Daddy then too :)

Thank you, thank you, 100 times thank you to all of my wonderful family and friends that have prayed for us, cried with us and held our hands on the beginning of the journey. Our journey has just begun and while we're rejoicing in our upcoming blessing... we still need a lot of prayers!

More details tomorrow, but I just wanted to say one more time... I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY!

Love & Blessings, Meredith

Trash to Treasure

The community where I grew up has an annual Trash to Treasure Day where the whole village (yes, I did say village) has a garage sale. Each home has a garage sale and then people spend the whole weekend perusing through peoples garage sales. I love the slogan "Trash to Treasure" because that little saying not only imparts what a garage sale is but it speaks a lot about life in general. Where other peoples waste becomes someone elses desire, where someones old becomes someone elses new, where others excess provides hope for someone else.

So I'll get to the point... I am planning my very first garage sale. It's going to be August 14 and 15 at our new house! I am really excited to get rid of our extras, meet some new neighbors and have a little bit of fun while I'm at it! But the biggest reason for this garage sale is for it to be a fundraiser for our adoption.

We all know adoption isn't cheap but that's not what this blog is about! This blog is about bring our baby home. However, some people have asked how they can help us.. and besides prayer this garage sale is where YOU come in! I'm giving our garage sale a name... Your Trash Brings Our Treasure Home garage sale!

As you know we just moved, and before I got this wonderful idea of having a garage sale I took most of our potential garage sale items to the Salvation Army drop box. It's good to donate but I sure wish I had more to sell!

Now, back to where you come in... if you live in the area and would like to help us in our 7333 mile dance or whatever avenue our baby comes home to us please clean out your closets, basement or attic and donate items for us to sell! We're not a charity so it won't be tax deductible.. but it is for a good cause and I know I always feel better when my closet/attic/basement is a little less cluttered!

And if you don't live close and still want to help please say a prayer for nice weather, a fun time and good sales. More than making LOTS of money I'd like to find a way to use Your Trash Brings Our Treasure Home garage sale to raise awareness for the orphans. So along with your prayers for nice weather on August 14 & 15, pray for the more than 147 million orphans in the world and what we can do to help.

If you'd like to donate your "trash" just get in touch with me through the blog comments, email or phone. We really appreciate all the help, prayers and support we're getting in this adventure of adopting.

Love & Blessings, Meredith


We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.

Shh... it's a secret!

Following along with this weeks MckLinky Blog Hop I'm sharing my secret Thanksgiving/Christmas Cookie Recipe. It's not an original but I found it online and then changed a few things up to make it my own and please my family. I haven't shared it with anyone else because, then I am able to bring the most sought after cookies at our family functions... so hopefully my mom won't read this entry :)

Pumpkin Butterscotch Chip Cookies
This is
Ingrediants:
3/4 C Butter
1 C Brown Sugar
1 Large Egg
1 C Pumpkin
1 tsp Vanilla
2 tsp Baking Powder
1 1/2 tsp Cinnamin
2 1/2 C Whole Wheat flour
1 Bag Butterscotch Chips

Mix all ingrediants together adding flour 2nd to last and then the butterscotch chips last. Lightly grease baking sheet, drop by the spoonful and bake at 350 for 12 - 15 minutes.

A BIG blog post is coming tomorrow... or maybe Thursday depending on how motivated I am. Unfortunately it isn't baby news but its about a what we're doing to help bring our baby (babies?) home... and a way you may be able to help!

Love & Blessings, Meredith

Let me know if you like the cookies... I'm not a butterscotch fan but everyone else loves them!

Peace in the Storm

A few weeks ago Matt and I received a call from MCB (adoption attorney). She wanted to know if we would be interested in submitting our life book to a birth mother. MCB asked if we'd like to be submitted because the baby has an unfavorable inutero diagnosis. If I could remember how to spell, or even say it, I think that I'd be inclined share what it is but since I can't remember, that's a moot point. Suffice it to say, the babies brain had a disruption of blood supply for an unknown amount of time and this caused development problems. The severity or any future diagnosis is unknown at this time.

Initially we said no, but then decided to submit our life book if we could hear from the bms doctor. The bm asked to meet with us earlier this week and I called and spoke to her doctor. After speaking to her doctor and talking with Matt we decided to back out and not proceed further with this adoption process. MCB contacted us with some new information, Matt spoke to a different, perhaps better informed doctor and we have decided to meet with the birth mother. This meeting will hopefully occur next week after her next ultrasound.

While we had many initial reservations, and still have many concerns I am oddly at peace. At our 1st meeting with MCB she asked if we would take a child with a disability. I remember being a bit befuddled that she would even have to ask that, like there are any guarantees with any child. We'd never have an abortion if we were having a biological child with any problems, so how could we say no to adopting a child with a problem.

And then we were faced with the choice and I balked. Fear still pounds through me when I think of adopting a baby that may never "know" us, falling in love with a baby that could die inutero or being the parent of a child who may never be able to care for himself. And in thinking those thoughts, my heart continued to rest on one thought: what is God's purpose in directing our path this way. Why would God give us this type of mountain to cross, what does he want me to learn and how can I grow in Him through this.


But now that we've decided to go through with meeting the bm, I'm ready. I am an all or nothing type of girl and God knows that. He knows that if the bm chooses us I will fall in love with him and then there will be no turning back. He knows which child we're meant to be parents too, so we're ready to follow the path God's directing.

And this is where we're at: the bm is going to meet with us and one other couple from a different agency. We're going to wait until we hear about the next ultrasound results before deciding anything but for me, the decision has already been made. Because amidst this storm, I feel a peace that I barely recognize. A peacefulness that has put me at ease with whatever happens next.

So whatever happens next, we're ready! Whether the bm chooses us or not, whether we have a child by the end of summer or find ourselves in Ethiopia sooner rather than later, this is the path we're supposed to be on and we can't wait to see what happens next!

Love & Blessings, Meredith


We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.

Waiting for Wednesday

I've shared little bits and pieces of my life outside of adoption with my many (or few) readers and I've told you all of my love for books. If you know me IRL (in real life)you know I'm a closet nerd and a book worm, that I get great joy out of looking at all the books on my book shelf and like to peruse old college text books. But my love for books when mixed with a wonderful British writer translates into pure euphoria.

My love affair with all things Harry Potter began in high school when I first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone. It was my sophomore year of high school, soccer season had just ended and I was feeling a bit under the weather. It's slightly embarrassing that I remember that... kind of like the question where were you when JFK was shot? but for me, I'll remember when I first read HP. Jo Rowling is a wonderful writer and drew me in quickly. It pained me to wait between installments but I think the delay in gratification caused me to further appreciate the books. My oldest nephew on the other hand, hasn't read all of the books yet, but didn't have to wait countless months (or years) between each book release.

So this week, while I anxiously await some "doctors notes" to continue further our dance to Ethiopia, I will wait for something else as well. I will wait for 12:00 am Wednesday when I, joined with aforementioned nephew and his father, will see the sixth installment of Harry Potter! To say that I'm excited is quite an understatement. I just hope that the movie will live up to they hype while being realistic enough to know that the movie won't be as good as the book. They never are anyways, right?

And you can wait with me, follow my countdown below and share in my excitement! Or just laugh quietly as I relish in my own Harry Potter utopia!

Have a wonderful weekend and hopefully the next update will include some adoption updates! Or maybe just a picture of me and my nephew in our Harry Potter shirts!

Love & Blessings, Meredith

Favorite Picture

Well, this isn't my favorite picture, not even close really, but we're in the middle of our move and I have no idea where my camera cord is... but I wanted to participate in the blog hop because it was so much fun last week so here we go!





This picture was taken right after Matt and I were introduced as husband and wife... awe, memories!

Love & Blessings, Meredith

Embracing

Last week I went to an adoption seminar hosted by are adoption attorney, MCB. It was very small, very intimate and very uncomfortable... at least at first. It wasn't uncomfortable because I was the only person there alone, Matt had school that night. It wasn't uncomfortable because I was so much younger than the other couples... it was uncomfortable because of my own insecurities. It was uncomfortable because the couple sitting next to me was the couple "our" birth mother chose. My recognition of them was almost instantaneous, theirs didn't occur until MCB pointed out the couples that had been through interviews and pointed both of us out. The second I recognized them I wanted to get up and leave... but I didn't. I stayed and over the course of the next hour and a half, I grew as a person. I took that time to fully embrace my pain of not being chosen. But not only did I embrace my pain, I embraced the other couples happiness. I listened to their story, heard their longing for a baby in their voice, saw the joy on their faces and the uncertainty of a possible failed adoption in their eyes.


And their story, their longing felt a lot like ours. Even though we haven't been chosen yet, I could fully understand the fearfulness of a failed adoption - worrying about that keeps me awake some nights. How will we, I, survive if the adoption we live for, falls through? I know the answer - we'll survive by the grace of God, but I'm scared spitless to have to go through something like that.

But it was the joy of the "chosen" couple that took my breath away. Their joy just exuded from them as they sat next to me and from that I drew strength - that one day Matt and I will feel that joy, that we'll be given the chance.

MCB talked about the club we're in... that unless you're going through this/been through this, you don't know what it's like. But once you're on the other side of this process, with a baby, the process: the emptiness, the longing, the pain makes sense, gives you perspective.

Matt and I don't have any friends that are currently adopting. We know people that have adopted, but not really well. Not well enough where I'd be comfortable to bear my heart and ask questions. I have some blogging friends that I "know" that have gone through this process but no one who I can sit with a cup of Starbucks at the park and just chat with. I feel like I need that, and this seminar MCB put on provided that: it provided me an opportunity to gather with people who where in the "adoption club;" people who share the same desires we share, and people who share the same obstacles. Like writing my blog, it was cathartic - it soothed my soul and was a perfect opportunity to draw closer to God; embracing my pain and letting go of it all at the same time.

Kenji Miyazawa said "We must embrace our pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." So we'll keep on our journey, embracing our pain and relying on each other, our friends and family and God to get us through!

Love & Blessings, Meredith

Beautiful Musical Reminders

Sometimes a song just speaks to me, sometimes when you're feeling a little down or overwhelmed you'll hear the perfect song and be reminded. Reminded of God's love; of His promises and plans for you. Well these two songs do it for me. They are my little reminders... I hope they'll remind you too.






Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom or you'll hear two songs at once!

Love & Blessings, Meredith