Monday, January 6, 2014

Please, please, please

Sunday we went to "The World's Greatest Hobby Show" at the IX Center.  The world's greatest hobby is obviously model trains and wow, a model train hobby is a pricey pastime!  And we thought Thomas the Train was expensive - ha! 

Gabe was in little boy heaven.  I mean, this child loves trains.  There were at least a dozen  model trains set up and Gabe went from train to train intently watching each engine, caboose and car that went by, memorizing the landscapes, the color of cars and which engines blew steam.  I thought we'd never get him to leave. It took a few hours but eventually we did convince him to leave. 

While I was trying to take pictures (of course I forgot my camera and only had my phone), I couldn't help but feel someone was missing.  My heart is desperate for the picture that holds Gabe's sweet face with the face of his sibling.  As time goes by it becomes more and more apparent that we're missing someone; a second (or third) sweet little face smooshed next to Gabriel's in pictures, another glass of milk at the table, another hand to hold and forehead to kiss goodnight.  
Someone is missing and every day that goes by we miss them a little more. 

How do you love someone you've never seen before?  Ask any of my adoptive mama friends and their answer is the same; it's possible, it's deep and in the recesses of your soul you are fighting to bring them home every second of the day. 

Our prayers are the same every day, some days the prayer is filled with a little more desperation and other days a little more hope. 

But yesterday and today the ache has been the same; my heart brimming with hope and longing, my soul whispering "please, please, please Lord, let us be a family of four before the next model train show"

This is the confidence that we have in Him, 
that if we ask anything according to Your will, You will hear us. 
1 John 5:14

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