Where we've been!

It has been hot here in Houston.  Like heat index above 100 EVERY SINGLE DAY hot.  So, we have been spending a ton of time at our neighborhood pool.  Gabe's exhuberance in getting into the water the instant we walk into the pool area has resulted in very few photos.  By very few, I mean one.

Alas it is not even a good picture.  But it is proof that we frequent the pool.  Gabe is so much more wild in the pool this year; ducking his head under water, jumping (from sitting on his bottom, of course) off the wall, kicking up a storm and splashing.  This child loves to splash! The only bummer of the neighborhood pool is the 10 minute adult swim at the end of every hour even when Gabe and I are the only people there and the fact that it is closed on Mondays for maintance.

Besides visiting the pool or the splash pad we haven't been spending too much time outside. But don't let that fool you, we are staying busy inside.  One of Gabe's favorite activities is playing with his trains.  Gabe loves trains; Thomas, Percy, Henry, Toby.  Couple them with the Dinosaur Train and he is in train heaven!  Some days he leaves the traditional train track behind and uses furniture to create new adventures for Thomas.

 Gabe is continuing to develop the budding artist in himself and has developed a great love for painting.  Finger painting or using a brush, it doesn't matter either way!  He also works on his fine motor skills by coloring.  He usually requests certain colors (blue, green and purple) and scribbles until his hearts content!  I have a question for all you parents of budding artists out there.  Do you save all of your childs artwork?  I've been throwing away Gabe's papers from Sunday school but feel a little guilty.  We don't have room to save everything; so what do we do?  What do we save?  Where do we keep it?  And how do I get over the guilt from throwing his 'masterpieces' away? 

Besides hanging out inside reading books, playing trains, working on our alphabet, reading more books, playing basketball (indoor hoop) we have been going on adventures.  Last week we joined Matt in Houma, Lousianna for work.  While the rain ruined all of our plans we did get in a swimming session at the hotel and eat at the TARC restaurant.  This is a restaurant ran solely by adults with special needs.  My blackberry cobbler was to die for!  Yes, I went right to the dessert this time.  You only live once!  Gabe, Matt and Barry (Matt's friend and co-worker) all enjoyed their food as well.  Another cool part of this restaurant is that there are pictures, kitchen wares and canned foods you can buy.  We bought a jar of cajun salsa and a super cute painting of an owl for Gabe's bedroom. I'll take a picture once we get it up.

But truly this place was awesome.  Being a parent of a differently-abled child allowed me to truly appreciate the fact that this place exists.  That these adults are given an opprotunity to provide a good life for themselves, to work hard and feel good about themselves.  I'm thinking Houston and/or Cleveland need a place like this.  The How I Met Your Mother in me wants to say "challenge accepted."
Besides traveling 6 hours to Houma (Gabe did moderately well in the car - cried at the start of the trip on the way there and was just so done with sitting in his carseat when we were about 30 minutes from home) we haven't done much else besides visiting the train table at Barnes and Noble.  I'm definitely seeing a train table in Gabe's future. 
So that's where we have been... where have you been?

Tear Drops on the Splash Pad

If that doesn't sound like a bad country song I'm not sure what would.  However, that was a brief part of reality today.  
Most days I don't think of Gabe as being any different than any other child out there.  Sure, he goes to therapy 4 days a week, doesn't walk yet and has to work harder at things than other children do.    Gabe's differences don't stick out to those that love him but they sure stick out to others.  And while our sweet boy doesn't notice this now, one day he will. 

This morning Gabe and I were at the pool minutes after it opened.  No one else was there and it was so peaceful,  just me and Gabe swimming in circles, his sweet laugh filling the air.  Not 5 minutes later though, the splash pad next door turned on and Gabe was drawn to the children playing there.  I couldn't refuse his request of "go play please" and we headed on over. 

I walked Gabe onto the splash pad close to a fountain and left him to play.  Gabe splashed in the water, squealed when the bucket tipped over and laughed along with the other children playing.  A few minutes after we arrived a little girl stopped in front of me and asked why Gabe was winking, why he wasn't walking.  I responded with my usual "his eye just doesn't work like yours... he's still learning to walk.... that's how God made him..." and she ran off.  Next a little boy followed with similar questions, receiving similar answers.  A few minutes later another girl came over, a few years older than the other children and asked "what's wrong with him" using the nastiest tone imaginable from a child around the age of 8.  I used the same responses again, she repeated her question emphasizing the word wrong when her mom called her over.

I was so relieved when her mom called her name assuming she would correct her behavior.  She (the mother) told her to go play with him (meaning Gabriel) and the little girl responded "no, he looks weird." 

And my heart broke a little (okay, a lot) bit.  Little girl ran away, mom said nothing, and I couldn't  help but cry.  Good thing my sunglasses are so big or else it may have become awkward.

I was so angry.  Absolutely horrified that that little girl would say Gabe looks weird.  I was even more angry that the mother was okay with her child calling another a name.  Children live what they learn...  growing up it was not okay for me to call other people names.  My parents wouldn't stand for it so I learned not to do it.  Again... children live what they learn. Besides the fact that the old mantra "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" still applies in the 21st century. 

But more than anger, my heart was overcome with sadness.  Sadness that a little girl could so easily call someone they didn't know a name, sadness that her mom didn't step up and set it right and of course my heart just ached for Gabriel.  Right now, Gabriel doesn't even know he is any different than the other children he sees at the park, splash pad and church.  But one day he will and he will also hear the words of other children and adults.  Words that can hurt, discourage and make him question his self worth. 

We will do our best to teach Gabe that there is nothing "wrong" with being different; that God made him in His image and he is perfect just the way that he is.  We will do our best to teach Gabe that it is okay to be different and that everyone is different in one way or another.

But we can't do this alone.  We need other people to advocate for the well-being of Gabe and all other children that are differently-abled. We need to teach all children (and parents) that calling someone else an unkind name is not acceptable; we need to show love and kindness rather than judgement and condemnation.  Our children will only learn to be kind, if we act kindly to others.  Wouldn't that be a wonderful legacy to leave our children?  A legacy of kindness that could just go on and on. 

Improvising

I've found that the LaGorga ship sails quite a bit smoother when we are prepared to improvise.  Take today, a Monday, a 97 degree Monday.  On Monday our neighborhood pool is closed*.  However the splash pad is open.  The splash pad was broke last week but working on Saturday when Matt, Gabe and I went to the pool and it was working this morning when we drove by on our way to OT. 

After lunch, we put on sunblock and headed on over.  I couldn't believe it, no one was there!  As we walked closer, I noticed the ground was completely dry.  Not wanting to even acknowledge any other possibility I blamed the heat for drying the ground so thoroughly. We walked in, I rubbed the post that contains the sensor to start the water and nothing happened.  I rubbed it again.  We waited.  I may have said a silent prayer or two because I was imagining the melt down that would ensue when I would have to take a dry, hot Gabe home.  I'll admit, I tried again... and again, no water began to run. 

Big huge bummer!  I calmly explained to Gabe that the splash pad was broke and told him we had to go home.  He sadly responded with "no home."  But there was no tears, no tantrums, just one sad little boy. 

On my way home I wracked my brains for something fun to do.  I wasn't sure where his little pool was hidden and Gabe is not fond of playing in the sprinkler.  Well, he used to love the sprinkler!  Then a few months ago, he was either bit or stung while playing in the sprinkler and his love affair ended there. 

But today, it was hot.  So I decided to improvise.  I sprayed the driveway down so that it wasn't hot and turned the sprinkler on.   Slow and steady, that's our Gabe.  First he just sat in the spray, then he turned and put his feet closer, next it was a hand and then he was all over it.  Face in the sprinkler, picking up the sprinkler and trying to spray me... he was having fun. 

Catastrophe averted!  Water fun for all!

*To be honest, our neighborhood has two pools: one is two streets over and down a tiny bit.  The other one is a mile down the road.  While we frequently walk to that park because it doesn't have sand (read - public kitty litter) under the climber it is just a little too far away to walk when it is 97 degrees.  And humid.

What do you do when it's too hot and humid to be outside for a long time?  You  use your pass to the Children's Museum and head downtown for the day!