On Going Slow

Some days seem to go by so slow but the weeks and months seem to go by in the blink of an eye. Even moments at time seem like they need to be stolen because I blink and they've passed us by.  Life with three [very active] boys keeps me on my toes.  I've learned that in order to keep up and to be able to meet everyone's individual needs, there's little time to sit down.  At night I glance at the computer and have so many things in my mind and on my heart that beckon to be shared but I tend to curl up on the couch, spend time with Matt and fall asleep; physically exhausted but with a very full and very thankful heart.


Nine months ago Matt and I boarded a plane in DC bound for Ethiopia with no idea what the future would hold.  We knew it would be beautiful and we assumed it would be hard but we were ready to bring home two little boys who needed a family.  And as much as they needed a family, we needed them.

Step by step, moment by moment our sweet sons learned that we were their family.  It was, and in many ways still is, a slow process.  How do you explain to a child that you will always be there for them when all the adults they've known have left them?  You can't use words, you have to prove it to them.

And that proof comes in the form of being there each and every day, every single second they need you.  For the first few months home Samsel woke up constantly; he wasn't hungry or wet, he just needed to know we were there.  So we went to him, held him close and whispered sweet, soft truth into his ears.  Thomas?  He didn't need us at night but during the day time he asked (still does some days) so many questions I wouldn't even be able to keep count. Sweet questions, serious questions, nonsensical questions.  He didn't need the answers so much as to know we cared enough to answer.  So we did.  And we do.

Day by day, week by week and as the seasons change their attachment to us grows as does ours to them.  Attaching in adoption can be a slow process and we're okay with that.  And a slow, steady but strong attachment has shown us how in this fast pace world, slow can be a good thing.  A beautiful thing.  As the days have been slow and the weeks have flown by we've been enjoying life the same way: fast and slow.  Appointments and bonding at home used to take up our days but now appointments and play dates are filling our time.  In November the boys came home to a brand new world, each and every thing was virtually brand new.  We slowly acclimated to all that newness with just our family.

 As the spring began to thaw out the cold ground of Ohio, we were able to slowly open our lives to our family and friends.  The same family and friends that stood by us as we waited audaciously for the boys to come home, stood in the wings waiting to meet them, get to know them and live life together once again.  I still feel like there are so many people they need to meet (did I seriously and naively think we'd have a welcome home party for them?! Ha!) and little by little they are meeting all the people in our lives.

Nine months ago I could have never told you how important it is to go slow in life.  While I'm not truly part of the rat race I was accustomed to the idea that faster is always better.  Alas, not for the first nor last time will I be wrong.  Going slow with the boys has shown me the importance of going slow in other things.  Like on walks.  I'd burn more calories and get home faster if the boys rode or walked quickly but then we'd miss out on so many things.  Following ants down the side walk, watching squirrels, waving hello to the cars that drive by.  It seems unnecessary but enjoying the small things, the slower pace of life is peaceful.
 

Getting out the door on time with these three proves to be a challenge at times.  Rushing is nothing but stressful for all four of us so now, we start earlier, move slower and there is so much more peace in our house. This going slow... it really works for our family.

Pre-family of 5 I moved slowly in the morning; I had plenty of time to do what ever needed to be done and meet the needs of Gabe.  The first few months home, while we were cocooned at home most of the time we were still moving at a very fast pace.  Life was crazy and hard, yet beautiful.  But in the busyness I was missing the beauty.  The beauty that my three sweet sons marveled at; big clouds, beautiful snow flakes, sun beams on the playroom floor barely caught my attention because I thought I had so much to do and was moving to quickly.  One day though, the dust sparkling in the sunshine that had the boys laughing and dancing, garnered my attention as well.  And I took a moment to slow down.  The dishes sat, the books were a mess but those moments were so enjoyable.  After that day in May, I made the intentional decision to slow down.  Life was speeding by, there was so much to do but it felt so good to slow down.

Slowing down didn't mean life stopped.  We still schooled, played, took adventures and made it to our appointments but we enjoyed life a little bit more.  And as we slowed I found I had more time, more energy and began to be refreshed.  When we were flitting from thing to thing with no time for my mind or body to refresh itself, slowing down gave us more time.  More time to enjoy one another; slowly we added more routine to our life; scheduled school, more activities outside the house, morning devotions for the boys and back in the routine were morning devotions for me.

You're my place of quiet retreat; I will wait for Your Word to renew me. Psalm 119:114

Renewal, slowness.  It's so unnatural but it feels so good.  While it didn't make sense to others to slowly introduce the boys to the outside world, our friends and family, play dates it made sense to us.  And while initially it was hard to purposefully slow down; to truly stop and smell the roses, it turned into something wonderful.  Slow and steady: it doesn't just work for turtles [smile].

July and August... the rewind.

Blogging has definitely taken a back seat to waiting to go meet our boys and living life with our sweet Gabriel.  The day to day life of summer seemed long but it's hard to believe that it's already August and summer and it's beautiful weather is almost just a memory.  We made so many memories and are so excited to see what next summer hold for our family of 5!  FIVE!

But here's our summer in rewind...

Fourth of July at the Indians game followed by Fireworks.  Gabe's first!

Lots of baseball! 

A favorite pastime is stopping at playgrounds.  Close to our home or if we happen upon them while driving... Gabe loves a new place to play.

Meeting baby Anna, Gabe's newest cousin. 

Rocket launching in the front yard.

 Gabe's first Vacation Bible School!  He had so much fun and learned so much!

Golf Them Home fundraiser!

Splash park fun!

Multiple trips to the local fairs!

Pure cuteness.

Impromptu trips to an indoor water park.

The zoo with our besties.

Fun with Ethan at Dave and Busters!

Stopping at every "picture taker" we find.

Lake Erie Nature Center... Gabe's favorite exhibit is the bees.

Date night Tribe game with this handsome fellow.  And a short walk to see the world's largest outdoor chandelier.

Dancing in the rain.  There is always time to dance in the rain.  Always.

One of Gabe's birthday presents was a family pass to the aquarium and we were so excited to use it for the first time! 

Lots of time in Nonny and Papo's back yard. 

Children's Museum of Cleveland.  A fun and messy time of learning.  

 Babysitting baby Anna.  Gabe was a great help.

Five

Gabe, you are five! That's one full hand!  

Four was an amazing year for you!  

And for us! 

Watching your grow, learn and change is enchanting. 

Your joy over the big things in life is only overshadowed by your joy for every day delights.

From airplanes to ants, iPad time to watching trains, reading books to playing baseball...

you, sweet boy, find joy in everything.

That joy is contagious and spreads to everyone you meet. 

I pray that joy follows you where ever you go! 

Joy and perseverance, Gabriel, would be my words to describe you. 

Your joy is unending and your perseverance... well it amazes us all.

Mommy, Daddy, your family, your therapists.... all of us! 

In your fourth year you went from taking wobbly first steps to walking, running and jumping!  

We should probably add climbing and riding a scooter and a bicycle as well!  

Your language skills are exploding and I love all of the conversations we have now.  

You have your daddy's sense of humor, your mama's need for knowledge and every young child's ability to ask a million different questions in any 24 hour time period. 

We love you, Gabriel Matthew and feel so blessed to be called your Mommy and Daddy! 

For your birthday we celebrated Super Hero style with Batman and Spiderman as the stars!  The tradition of a balloon filled bedroom continued and for the second year in a row we celebrated with family and a bounce house.  You and Nonnie were the first two to try the bounce house out!  You had so much fun bouncing with Grama, Eli, Ethan, Liam, Daddy, Uncle Bucko and Uncle Matt!  

Gabriel Matthew, you constantly amaze us and we can't wait to see what this fifth year brings to your life; more baseball and bike riding, more learning and exploring and two brothers to finally call your own.

We love you sweet boy.  

June in Rewind.

Seriously!  Where did June go?  I can't believe we've already turned the calendar over and moseyed our way through the first few days of July.  June was a great month over here!  The sun came out, the rain slowed down and we've spent many lazy days enjoying the slowness summertime brings.

Gabe started baseball, we celebrated birthdays, enjoyed friends and family and learned we are one single signature away from traveling to meet our sweet sons. So what did we fill our days with?

 

Finally meeting a soul sister face to face.

 

Enjoying the splash pad in the bright sunshine.

 

Bubble fun on the front porch.

 

 Trips to the zoo to pet goats, ride trains, see animals... and ride a camel!

 

Played many games of Snakes and Ladders... even by candle light.

 

 Celebrating Gabe's awesome Daddy on Father's Day

Front yard baseball.  Representing our friends in El Salvador

 

More time at the splash pad... and sometimes it leads to ice cream! 

 

 Trips to the $1 Regal Summer Shows.  Gabe sat through his first of many feature films to watch Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs Two.



 

Afternoon Indians game with Nonny.  10 innings.  Indians won.  Gabe sat through the whole game with rapt attention.  He is obviously loving baseball this summer!

 Gabe loved clapping along to the drummer at the Indians game. 

He was so much fun to watch.

 

 Welcoming home our friend K from Ethiopia was a HUGE highlight for us. There really is nothing better than seeing an orphan become a son, a family welcome their brother home. K and our sweet Thomas are best buddies!  We can't wait to get them back together here in Ohio once our boys are home.

 

Celebrating Samsel's birthday with ice cream sundae's.  And hot dogs because

Gabe doesn't like ice cream!

Enjoying visits from friends

 

 

 The arduous process of stripping and painting Samsel's crib began.  It is certainly a labor of love but it is turning out beautiful.  I can't wait to tuck him in it and watch him fall asleep.

 

 A little dancing in the rain.  Gabe gets his love of storms from his Daddy.

And there was always time for watching the clouds, airplanes and birds fly above us.  Gabe has certainly taught us to take it all in and appreciate what's around us; like sunshine, cool green grass and planes over head.

The official June wrap-up.  It was a good month.  I can't wait to see what's to come in July.