Reserved Excitement

I hesitated posting about our latest development in our adoption journey, knowing this could lead to nothing, end in heart ache or potentially be the start of a beautiful new beginning. But with thoughtful consideration I figured why not? The more people who know what step we are at in this process the more prayers that can be poured out on our behalf.

In March, when we turned in our life book and said farewell to MCB she said that the next time we'd hear from her would be if someone wanted to meet us. When Matt's phone rang at 6:33 last night hearing from her was the farthest thing from my mind. When Matt came by me at the desk and jotted down June 11th, 4:45, I stole the pen and wrote MCB?. He just smiled and nodded and my heart started to pound. After agonizing minutes (actually probably 30 seconds) he hung up and gave me the news... a birth mother wants to meet with us. I can't even explain the intial excitement; I've never felt so overwhelmed, happy, excited, pensive, sad and grateful all at the same time.

Overwhelmed because while it seems like we've waited a LONG time, we really haven't and I was truly not expecting to hear from MCB anytime soon. Happy and excited; well those are the obvious feelings - we've wanted a baby for what seems like forever, so this call could be the answer to our (and yours) prayers. I felt pensive because quickly I realized that this was just an interview; we may not be what the birth mother (bm) is looking for, we may not feel comfortable with her... we just may not click.

And I felt an overwhelming sadness. I'm so sad that this young woman is making this sort of decision when she could be thinking about school activities, summer plans and the latest gossip at school. Sad because this meeting could just be another one of those faith lessons God is teaching us. Please when (if) you pray for us also include our potential bm; that she finds God's comfort during this trying time, that she stays healthy during and after her pregnancy and that she can find peace in the decision she's making.

The gratitude I feel is beyond words. I am so grateful that a 15 year old could make the right decision and chose life rather than having an abortion. Grateful to Matt that he contacted MCB in the first place, to MCB that she took us on, her youngest couple ever and shared our lifebook. I feel immensely grateful to the fact that we may not have to wait years after completing our lifebook before a bm chooses us.

I feel grateful to everyone who helped with ideas, advice and prayers as we tried to complete our lifebook, to FedEx Kinko's for putting our finishing touches on our book and mostly, ultimately to God. He knows our path, he's directed our path and whether or not this baby becomes our baby He will be with us through it all. As the next 15 days pass Deuteronomy 31:8 will become my mantra: "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." It's comforting to know that God is already there: on June 11th when we meet the bm, the days following when she makes her decision and even the end of October when the baby is due. He's there and right now that provides my comfort.

Thank you for sharing this journey with us, I can't wait to see where this new path leads.

Love & Blessings, Meredith

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