Before I had to ever think of infertility, I can admit I was one of those people who just didn't understand how people couldn't get pregnant. I mean it seemed pretty easy to me; you have sex and get pregnant, what was too that. And I would have never thought that infertility would be part of my life; I had a plan. I would get meet Mr. Right, get married, have a baby and live my own little happily-ever-after.
But God had other plans.... I did meet Mr. Right and get married but the 'plan' stalled out there. To avoid sharing too much information, we'll just say God had other, and for us, better plans for us and our family. Plans that were better than I could have ever imagined.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11 became sort of a mantra for me; I'd repeat it daily, hourly and sometimes more often than that to get through the discouraging moments. And while Matt and I were not completely sure of God's plan and only knew it were to include adoption and not fertility treatments. Thus the choice of adoption precludes us from being a success story in the infertility world but how could I ever look at this face
or see my two favorite guys being silly
or hold a miraculous wonder next to an otter
and not think that this is success... a miracle just like any other way of bringing a baby into a family.
But infertility is a funny thing; it's certainly not talked about among mixed company. And I'm not talking about different genders or races; I'm talking about everyone. Until you hear of someone going through what you're going through or have been through... you're not sure if it's okay to talk about. But I think we need to change that! If approximately 17% of people in America our dealing with some sort of fertility problems, inevitably it's someone you know. For me; it's one of my dearest friends, girls I go to church with, friends from high school and college and strangers I've met through the bloggy world. And we're in this together - whether you just keep trying the natural way (insert smile here!), opt for medical intervention or choose adoption - infertility is there. It's a journey, not a destination (cliche I know) but as Paul McCartney and his buddes the Beatles say we "get by with a little help from my friends" and a whole lot of faith in God.
Entering the world of infertility was not done at will, but by God's will. Leaving infertility behind and embracing the world of adoption and my sweet baby Gabe was only by God's grace. 3 years ago I never would have thought that I'd be thankful for infertility but when I look at the baby sleeping in my lap, reflect on the way my faith has grown or think of all the relationships developed, strengthened or both it is hard to be anything but thankful.
This song and video (especially the dedication) by John Waller also provided me so much comfort while we were waiting. And tonight I watched it again, with Gabe in my arms and cried so grateful for God's faithfulness and for those still waiting...
2 comments:
Beautiful, Beautiful...well said. God's plans are so much better than ours!
Thanks for sharing this, Meredith! You are so right...God only knew how to fill our arms and our hearts. And how very lucky we are to have our miracles!!! :-)
Post a Comment