Bitter & Sweet

Every aspect of adoption is bittersweet.  Last Thursday we had a taste of the sweet side.  Tuesday the bitter part pulled the rug out from under our feet.  And today?  The bitter sweetness collided. 

I received a message minutes before leaving for the airport to come back to Houston.  I can't even begin to explain how I felt while I was reading it; feelings from joy to desperation to betrayal to confusion back to joy.  Emotional roller coaster.

I'll explain.

Yesterday, another family was referred our little A.  I can't even begin to understand how this all happened.  Things happened and events transpired that I thought were impossible.  I am beyond thrilled that little A will no longer be an orphan but behind that feeling are many others. 

Confusion. 
Betrayal.
Loss.
Grief.
Desperation.
Sadness.

Of course, with those feelings comes questions...Why didn't his adoption work out with us...How many losses does someone have to go through....What in the world am I possibly supposed to learn through this.... Where do we go from here...How do we go back to waiting after seeing his face...

The hard stuff, the bitter side would be overwhelming if it weren't for the sweet part of little A's story. 

His family; oh how they love him.  They've loved him for so long and now their prayers for their child, their son is are coming to fruition. And that is the sweet side that redemption through adoption can bring. 

And we know their family.  I love little A's mom.  She is a sweet, honest breath of fresh air.  She's exactly like I want to be when I grow-up (and no she's not older than me, just wise and Christ-like).  Little A will be loved, cherished and given everything he's missed out thus far in his little life.  He will be encouraged to be all that he can be and raised in the truth.

What more could we ask for? 

Bittersweet.  Adoption will always be a little bit of both.  And today I can taste them both.  I'm delighting in the sweet flavor but still choking back the bitterness of it all.

Once again, I ask you to continue to pray for little A; that he gets home to his family.  And for little A's family as they work their way halfway around the world to meet their little boy.