Thursday, April 11, 2013

Heavy stuff.

My heart has been so heavy lately.  Multiple times a day I have to blink back the tears that seem to always be swimming up as my heart tries to process what my brain keeps taking in.    

In March we received news that the family that our sweet little A was placed with would not be able to bring him home.  Circumstances no one could imagine arose (that will remain private to protect his story) and this little one will remain in Ethiopia indefinitely.  My natural instinct was to hop on a plane and go get him.  Our love for him is deep and forever, but as we learned on Tuesday December 4 (one of those dates you'll never forget), he does not belong in our earthly family.  In my heart, he will always be our second son, our first Ethiopian boy.  It's hard to process that two families could love a little boy so much but for certain reasons, for now, the best life for him is in a safe place in Ethiopia where he is being loved and cared for.

It is so hard to understand God's plans, God's timing when things like this happen.  It'd be too easy to stop trusting that His will for our lives is good.

Psalm 118:8 “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Trust.  Hope.  Faith.  Through a dear friend I had the privilege to "meet" a woman who embodies faith, hope and trust in God.  But as she trusts, people around her question why.  How could God be calling this beautiful mother and wife home to Him.  My heart is so heavy for my friend who, for now, has to say an earthly goodbye to someone she deeply loves and admires.  My throat starts to constrict as I think about a husband losing his wife, children losing their mother, my friend losing a family member.  And the reality of it is, none of us know what tomorrow may bring.

Psalm 56:3 , “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

Another friend is in the fight of her life for the safety and health of her child.  So many of us our praying for circumstances to change but for now a sweet little girl is in an unsafe place while the mama she doesn't even know does everything she can to protect her from a far. 

The friend of a friend and her family lost their referral because of UNICEF's involvement in southern Ethiopia.  Want to hear me get passionate about something?  Ask me about UNICEF.

Poverty.  Job-loss.  Homelessness. 

Lots and lots of heaviness, friends.  And my heart has felt so burdened for it. 

Psalm 55:10 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous be shaken.
This heaviness in my heart would be all consuming if not for two things.  One, my faith.  And two, the glimmers of hope I see around me every day. 
Dear ones pregnant, good friends getting their referrals much quicker than anticipated, God providing big (and I mean BIG) for an adoption, new mom's bringing their babies home from Ethiopia, Taiwan and even hospitals in Ohio [smile]. 
Despite what the world wants you to believe, despite how my heart feels, there is so much good in the world.  You just need to open your eyes and take it all in.
Psalm 27:14  Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.

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