Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Not blood, LOVE

We spent another glorious hour with our precious Gabriel. Somehow tonight it was even harder to leave him than last night... it feels as though we left an even bigger piece of our hearts with him. But like last night I had the assurance that the arms I left him in love him as madly and deeply as I do. The only difference is they love him enough to let him go home and I'm blessed enough to keep him.

Until this past week, while I have thought about, prayed for and tried to envision what Miss B and her family would go through, I really had no clue. And then yesterday... seeing the love for this little boy in their eyes full of the knowledge and sadness that shortly they will be letting him go derailed me. I can not possibly imagine what they are going through. And while most can not possibly imagine what Aaron and I are going through (and the people who have no idea but say they do - ugh, that's totally a whole other post entirely) the challenges we are facing our entirely different.

Let me tell you a little about Miss B and our babies birth family. Miss B (and Mr. C for that matter) made a decision I can't even fathom. Out of love for one little boy, they decided to give him the life that they aren't able to give him yet. Immense love is the only way Miss B could choose adoption, spend time with Gabriel and still greet us lovingly when we come to visit. Miss B's parents are fantastic... supporting their daughter in every way, encouraging her to do what's best for Gabriel, all the while knowing what they are giving up. But again, it's all about love.

But speaking of giving things up... we are having an open adoption. When we first met with MCB we said we were pretty open to anything but I never envisioned this. I never thought that our baby's birth family would become family to us... that I'd cry and mourn over the loss that's coming when Gabriel comes home with us. I never imagined that I would love and care for them as deeply as Matt and I do. But God surprised us and we're not only gaining a son, we're getting more family. Gabriel will always have a B, C and Gama and Gampa A. He'll know that these people love and cherrish him just like his parents do. And as much as they want to be involved, we want them there! Birthdays, holidays, picnics in the park... the LaGorga family may not totally be complete without Miss B and her family. God has blessed us so much with this wonderful little boy and the wonderful love that comes with him. This love just reinforces the fact that family isn't blood and genetics, but love. Isn't God good?

And now for your view pleasure... Gabriel Matthew, day 2

Together again

Daddy and his boy...

My two favorite boys

He couldn't possibly be any more perfect!

Sweet Gabriel with his Gama A rubbing his cheek.

I HATE feet... but there is nothing cuter than these little feet

Look at those long toes! Hopefully that means his balance will be better than his Mama's
So, I apologize in advance for the excess of pictures but be forewarned... there are many more to come :)
Tomorrow Matt and I get to see Gabriel in the morning! We're heading to the hospital early to meet with the neonatologist. Please pray for a good report! After that we're going to head over and love on our boy for a little bit and then Matt has to go to work. I, however, am able to visit Gabriel again later in the evening... my heart is relishing the fact that I will be able to spend double the amount of time with him.
Tonight I feel peace, God given peace, that Gabriel will come home with us. I hate to ask for more prayers... but I'm going too. Would you pray that I continue to feel peace? There are so many emotions and Satan really wants his way to try to break us down but we know God has a plan and just pray that his plan is for us to be Gabriels parents.
Love & Blessings, Meredith

1 comment:

Becky said...

We're praying for all of you intentions...I do understand how INTENSE things are right now, and the need for peace, so we will most certainly send a prayer up for that one!! He is gorgeous and I hope so very much that you get a FABULOUS report from the doctors this morning.

Can't wait to hear more :-)