Friday, August 6, 2010

Being Real

I use this blog to chronicle our life; our steps towards building our family, growing closer to God and, well just our ordinary life. One of these days I'd like to print off our entire blog and have it turned into something scrapbook-ish. This truly is a journal of our life as we try to become who we're supposed to be.

I try to be 'real' when I write and not hide behind facades and written languages. But then people tell me how they love to read the blog and how rooted in faith we are, how together we have it all, how we're always so positive and upbeat. And that's when I realized that maybe I'm not completely honest when I write, maybe I hold back when things are difficult and maybe, just maybe this blog isn't as authentic as I want it to be.

So here it goes, I'm going to be real.

I am horribly insecure.
My house isn't always clean.
I struggle with knowing what to do 'next' in life.
Love to cook from scratch.
I am fiercely independent and hate asking for help.
Horribly clumsy and uncoordinated
Love nature but hate camping.
I hate answering the phone and am forgetful about responding to voicemails.
Fiercely devoted to my friends and family.
Extraordinarily sensitive.
Rarely miss cable (except when I'm up late at night and realize Friends reruns would be on.)
I'm obsessive about order and get antsy when things are out of place.
I see my Mom everyday and most of the time I love it.
However I'm bad at calling my brothers and grandma regularly.
Try to live green but love my SUV.
While I love to eat healthy, I eat fast food too often.
I talk about winning the lottery but have never played.
Chocolate is like a drug to me :)
Madly in love with the 2 men in my life.
I rarely wear make-up and don't even know how to put most of it on correctly.
Relish Saturdays spent at farm markets and craft fairs.
Neurotic about boiling Gabe's bottle nipples and pacifiers.
I'm not always honest when someone asks what's wrong.
I love to take pictures even if I'm not the best photographer.
Think cloth diapering could be a way of life.
Want to learn to live with less but always want something more.
Sometimes take Gabe out with a smudged face or messy clothes.
Baking is cathartic for me.
I forget to pick up groceries when our cupboards are bare.
Rely on myself when I should rely on God.
Take medication daily but hate the idea of giving medicine to Gabe.
Sometimes forget to recycle.
Love cleaning my floors but don't do it often enough.
Would love to be perfect.
Who wouldn't want to be perfect? But perfection is fleeting while joy can be found every day in any circumstance. So instead of worrying about being perfect, dwelling on my insecurities and worrying about the day-to-day stresses, I'm going to start looking for the joy in my every day life.
So that's me in a nutshell... or a blog post!
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy. Philippians 1:4

1 comment:

Dardi said...

I totally get where you're coming from...I am sooo not into people thinking my life is perfect, & I try to "be real" on my blog. However, I think it's ok to not turn your blog into a place where you hang your underwear out, you know? Because then it would be sorta like!

I think you're doing great & have never questioned your sincerity...that's why I'm still reading! :o)