Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Lists, lists, lists

Recently we've had a few questions about our wait list numbers and what they mean.  Because everyone that reads here is not fluent in adoption-speak I figured I'd explain it a bit. 

After submitting our dossier we were placed on a wait list.  Our agency, due to it's reputation in handling ethical adoptions has a list families are placed on in the order their dossier is accepted.  Because of AGCI's increased reputation and the slow down of processing adoptions in Ethiopia, the wait list has become quite lengthy. 

Currently our wait list numbers are 55 on the boy list, 72 on the girl list and 27 on the siblings list.  These numbers signify how many families are waiting for a referral a head of us.  There are 54 families that have been waiting for a son longer than us, 71 waiting for a daughter and 26 waiting for two or more children. 

A few things to note about the lists: they are horribly subjective. 

Every family's number is designated by the order they joined the wait list however each family has different parameters.  Our parameters include any child from 0 - 30 months old while almost every other family has different parameters ( healthy 0 -12 month old girl, 2-5 year old boy, etc).  As Gabe gets older we continue to increase our parameters for one big reason; we do not want to put limitations on God as he builds our family.  We are open to whatever child God has available for our family and do not want to be limited by age or special need.  God knows who will be placed in each of the families waiting with our agency, parameters are just AGCI's way of finding what they deem the best fit between child and parents. 

The wait list numbers are subjective for another reason; like us, many families are on more than one list.  We are on all 3 lists available as are many other families; some families are on all 3 lists like us while others are on only one or two.  So when a referral goes out for a girl, all of our numbers may decrease if the referred family was on all 3 lists.

As far as numbers go, I love that our sibling wait list number is already so low but the wait for siblings is a little harder to predict then the others.  Why?  Because just like each family has different parameters of for their son or daughter, each families parameters are different for siblings as well.  We are open to any siblings 0-30 months old (we're stuck at the 30 months right now because our agency doesn't allow for birth order disruption*) while others parameters are 0 - 6 years old, 2-4 years old with at least one child being a boy, 0 - 12 month twins, etc. 

So although our sibling number has already reached the 20's, it is impossible to predict if we'll be referred siblings or a single child.  Each list moves at a different pace and while our girl wait list number is the highest, we can't dismiss the idea that a little girl who's needs fit our parameters may be the addition God has planned for our family. 

Truly it would be much easier to plan for the future if we knew we were bringing home a son or daughter.  But following the easiest path isn't usually the best path and while it's hard, we are content on walking down the path God has us on. 

*birth order disruption - adopting a child older than your oldest child at home or between the ages of children in your home.  AGCI only allows you to adopt a child 10 months younger than the youngest child in your family

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