A letter to my son

Sweet boy,

Four years ago today, I found out I was going to be your mama.  It was one of the best days of my life. 22 days later I held you in my arms and the rest was history.   We were head over heels in love.

From those first moments spent with you, I knew my life would never be the same.  My heart was fuller, the sky seemed brighter and life just brimmed with joy. 

The day you came home, I was a nervous wreck.  How could the hospital just let us leave with this sweet boy?  What if we don't know what we're doing? Amidst my joy in you coming home those thoughts kept coming to mind.  But somehow we did know what we were doing and being your mother was the most natural thing to me.  Before being your mama, I never knew where I fit into this big world.  I loved your daddy with everything that I had, but besides being a wife, I was just a feather in the wind. 

Until you. 

Our first photo!

You changed everything. 

My heart seemed to double in size and then still burst at the seams with love for you.  We love everything about you: your smile, your laugh, the way you pucker your lips when you're disobedient, how you won't get out of bed without permission, the way you ask Daddy to be an elephant and how the first thing you want to do in the morning is snuggle on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

There was endless joy with watching you grow from a little baby to a toddler to the sweet little boy you are now.  Joy in seeing you light up each night your daddy comes home from work, joy in watching you use your first mode of movement: rolling over and over to get where you want to go, joy in hearing you giggle when we pull into Nonny and Papo's driveway, joy in getting to enjoy childhood a second time - through the beautiful eyes of you, sweet boy.

Pride.   Watching you accomplish things doctors weren't sure you would ever be able to do.  Rolling over, sitting up, using lefty, taking your first steps in a gait trainer, taking your first steps in a walker and then taking your first steps independently.  Pride at the way you work so hard to learn how to communicate and even more pride at the sweet, kind, spunky little boy that you've become. 

First time your daddy held you!

There's just something about you Gabriel that makes people just want to be around you.  You have the best smile that people can't seem to refuse.  You truly delight in life and make the best of any situation.  I've said it so many times in the past months, but you Gabe are a miracle.  A miracle that truly enjoys life and no matter what's going on, you just like to be part of the fun.  You live life with a reckless abandon and that's how we love you.  Recklessly.  Without abandon.  To infinity and beyond.

You, sweet boy, are kind and gentle, daring and shy, everything a little boy should be and so much more. 

Because of you, Daddy and I love deeper, bigger and know that miracles happen every day as long as you look for them.

Four years ago, I knew my dreams were coming true.  I just had no idea how awesome that dream would turn out to be. 

We love you sweet boy, more than you will ever know and more than we could ever imagine.

XOXO, Mommy

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

 Psalm 37:4