Friday, August 2, 2013

A little bit crazy

Adoption is crazy.  

Crazy hard.

Crazy good.

It is filled with an incredibly crazy amount of beauty... 
and pain....
and redemption.  

Today I read a blog post  from an adoptive mother titled "Dear friends of waiting adoptive moms: somethings to know (also, we're sorry).  It spread like wildfire through adoption communities and was re-posted hundreds of times.  Why?  Because it hit the nail on the head.

Certain lines resonated within me:

"We're moms without children.  It's an ache that doesn't go away.  It starts before we see their faces and only ends when they're in our arms.  So we walk about with half our heart missing.  It's hard to breathe, to think, to speak.  Something always feels missing.  Because they are"  And sometimes something will always feel like it's missing

"Adoption comes from loss.  Loss she will see in her child's eyes and in their heart.  Loss that as a mama can make your soul curl up in a ball for an ugly cry.  So don't tell her the kids are lucky.   You wouldn't tell a person who lost an arm that they're lucky to have a prosthetic one would you?"   We are the lucky ones; being entrusted with someone else's child is a beautiful gift.

"Adoption is different.  There is no due date for us."   No end in sight sometimes.  Being paper pregnant for years.  Watching people continually add to their family the 'normal' way while you continue to wait.

"She isn't sure they're coming home...This is the part that tears your soul in two.  This is the part that you wake up in the morning remembering and going to bed at night fearing.  Because there are no guarantees. And that's hard.  No, not hard. It's gut-wrenching"  Sometimes they don't come home. Sometimes you hold them and have to give them back.

Like I said, adoption and everything it entails before you're waiting, while you're waiting and even after you come home is crazy.  I shared this article on facebook and if you want a little insight on why I may seem a little crazy now, why I've seemed a little crazy in the past few years and why the craziness may not end soon, click on the link and read on.

My favorites are 2,8,9 and 12.  Okay, well, really they're all good. 

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