Sunday, September 1, 2013

In the days that followed the loss of our girl a number of friends told me to listen to a certain song.  
I'd heard it on the radio numerous times but didn't pay much attention to the lyrics.  
After the third or fourth person directed me to it, I pulled it up on youTube and listened to it.  
And cried.  
Boy did I cry.  

Then I had to stop listening to it.  
I have stopped listening to music most of the time anyways right now. 
For me music evokes strong emotions and since I primarily listen to music while I'm driving and crying and driving don't go well together, the radio is off a lot in the car these days. 

So I haven't listened to Worn by Tenth Avenue North for a few weeks now.
Not crying while I'm driving is definitely a good thing.
But I have been feeling so worn.
Last night a friend who knows about my aversion to music sent me the lyrics to Worn.

Instead of using a Veggietales song to speak to me,
He used Worn.

I've learned that the lyrics, rather heard on the radio or read in an email evoke the same emotion.
Of course.  Tears. [Smile].
The past few days have been harder than I imagined.
I thought we were over the insanely hard days.
I was wrong.
And I am tired.

"Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends.
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn."

We're nearing two years of waiting for a referral.
It's been almost 3 years since we began the process to adopt again.
While we're still waiting and it feels like the "wait" is never going to end...
it will.
The past few weeks  friends have received referrals while other friends have received travel dates to go pick up their little ones and bring them HOME.
Redemption does win.
Sometimes it just takes longer than we'd hope.

We may be worn but we are mending.

No comments: