Sunday, April 17, 2011


I have approximately 7,834 feelings swirling in my heart right now. Feelings like desperation for sweeties like Vanya and Kirill, overwhelming sadness for orphans, the unloved and those that don't know Christ's love. Ones of gratitude for the strides Gabe continues to make with his cast but sorrow for the way he's lost most of his independence these past weeks. Excitement that our I-600A will be in the mail tomorrow bringing us a few steps closer to our little on in Africa and longing to hold him in my arms. Thoughts of where and why. Confusion and uncertainty in knowing God's will for our future and fear of what the unknown may hold. Concern for a close friend and hurt over what seems like a lost friendship.

However, my thoughts are also on Easter and all the hope that brings. Knowledge that when Jesus died on the cross He paid the debt for my sin (and yours). Gratitude that God loves us so much that He gave His son, an act of love that I know I could not do... I do everything in my power to keep Gabe safe from pain and God knew exactly what Jesus would endure when He sent him here. Security in the fact that when Jesus rose from the grave, He brought new life for us all.

And while that provides me with comfort and relief, I also feel a little regret and guilt. Regret for missed opportunities and guilt over mistakes.

Like I said lots and lots of feelings. And while they all don't make sense, they're all jumbled up inside (and now out on the blog).

I'm hoping a little Harry Potter will help relax my body and ease my mind.

Yes, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 came out Friday. After therapy on Friday Gabe and I stopped at Best Buy to pick it up and Matt and I watched it Friday night... and yes, I'm watching it for the second time this weekend. Don't hate!

Gabe's "I stayed up the whole way home from therapy and desperately want to take a nap and you want to take my picture" look. I love it!

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