We have now entered the "Dolphin and Whale" stage of our adoption.
Don't tell me you didn't know dolphins and whales have 17-19 month gestation? Scientifically speaking, more intelligent animals have longer gestation periods. Now, I'm not saying I'm an animal per se, or that we are waiting for an animal... but with this long of a "wait" obviously this next little one is going to be of Sheldon/Reid* genius status.
"Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from My children that I desire the most. Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words, "I trust you" while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow. Hope is future-directed, connecting you to your inheritance in heave. However, the benefits of hope fall fully on you in the present."
Out of those 3 strands mentioned I've been waiting but just on our child... not on what God is doing in my life. I've been hoping... I have a ridiculous amount of hope. But it's the trusting that I've had the hardest time with. As much as I want to trust in God's timing, I find it difficult. Not because I don't trust God but the fact is, we live in a fallen world. And I truly believe that sometimes God's timing is disrupted because of our fallen world. I don't think that line of thinking goes against God and honestly, that line of thinking has brought me so much comfort since losing our referral.
"Your heart must not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me." John 14:1
It's true my heart is troubled. Troubled by things of this world; children waiting far to long to find a forever family, children never finding a forever family and children that are just stuck in this system of depravity. But today I'm trusting in God for the future of our family and waiting not just for a referral phone call but on God, for His plan to be revealed in all of its glorious detail.
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and courageous. Wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14
* Reference to Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and Reid from Criminal Minds - my 2 favorite shows!