Wednesday, March 23, 2011

True Confessions

It's late....Gabe's sleeping.... Matt's sleeping...I should be sleeping, but can't fall asleep.... I didn't take a nap today and won't get to take one for the next few days either...

Today I caught up with an old friend, K. It's a shame we don't talk as often as I'd like. There was a period in my life where I found so much strength in our friendship. And I still love her dearly; life has just taken us into different directions and that's okay. Relationships, like life, are fluid and need to be worked on continuously to be maintained. And when a relationship changes or ends, it doesn't have to be a bad thing (it took me a LONG time to realize that), it just means that you are changing. Outgrowing someone doesn't mean you don't love them, it just means you recognize that your friendship hasn't matured with your lifestyle. Rather than having a fall out in the relationship, you just let it go. And that's okay too.

Unbeknown st to me K reads here (Hi!) and of course we spent quite a bit of time talking about Gabe. We also talked a lot about faith; something we both share. Then she said the thing that I hate, despise, loathe... she said that it seems like I "have it all together". And I just had to laugh because I do not have it all together, far from it!

And I do not want to come off as having it all together because that is so not the real life I live. This week has been crazy! Why?

Let's start the first ever True Confessions of a SAHM.

  • Yesterday at Target an older lady asked what happened to Gabe's leg (he was wearing his AFO and his pants had ridden up when I put him in the buggy) and instead of patiently explaining that he has a tone problem and the AFO stretches his muscles and will help him walk, I snapped. I'm not sure if it was the look she gave him (pitying) or the tone of her voice but I didn't not respond kindly. To her "what happened to his leg" question, she received a "what happened to your manners" response.
It wasn't kind, necessary or Christian of me, but in the moment it felt good.
  • Speaking of snapping, Monday I tried to make chicken fried rice for the first time, without a wok. And then I neglected to let the rice cool so when I went to fry the rice, it became clumpy. It was edible but not tastey and poor Matt decided to add some Franks hot sauce to it. Rather then adding spices to my own bowl of yuck, I took it as a personal insult and gave him attitude. I later apologized, but c'mon Mere, it was mushy rice, what should I have expected!
  • As we prepared to leave Oberlin today, Gabe did not want to get in his car. So while he cried in his car seat, I put in an old cd and had a little bit of a cry as well as we sat in our parking spot. It's amazing how a few tears can make you feel better.
  • I did all of the laundry on Monday. But then the blanket I won at an adoption auction came in the mail today and I had to wash it right away so he could sleep with it tonight. I try to do laundry all at once so that the dryer doesn't have to cool down (you can save energy and money that way) but I just couldn't wait! Yes, a blanket made me that excited!
  • I've become re-addicted (is that a word) to caffeine and can't seem to get through a day without some. My lovely Megan's cleanse is seeming more and more inviting, yet more and more challenging every day.
  • We're going to Daytona Beach this fall so I've been trying to get back into shape. That includes making Gabe laugh as I run on the elliptical for as long as he'll let me most mornings and trying not to eat as much chocolate as I usually do. I enjoy the running but really miss the chocolate [smile]

So, there you have it! True confessions of a stay-at-home-mom who most certainly doesn't have it all together! What kind of true confessions do you have?

1 comment:

Heather and Chad said...

Love this post!! Know that you are not alone......I most certainly do not have it all together either! And seriously where are some peoples manners?! As for my truths.....far too many to list here! Perhaps I should take to my blog and follow suit with a post of my own! You may not have it all together but you are a great mommy, wife, and so much more!!!!!